A Day at the Races: Outfit

So, if you've been following me and my blog for a while you'll know my weight has been a constant hurdle in my life. It has been up and down, and during my 2 years of blogging i've weighed the lowest I've ever been and the highest I've ever been. My body confidence has been pretty bad almost regardless of what size I am, but especially being back up to the biggest size I've ever been right now. 

Regardless of my weight and size, I'm trying to improve my body confidence and self esteem, and to remind myself that at this size I am still beautiful and sexy. Also that who I am as a person is still the same, and that is what makes me attractive. 

This outfit, that I wore to the races at Newbury Racecourse, is something that even at my smallest size I might never have felt comfortable in, but that I actually felt really beautiful, sexy and confident in. A feeling I'm not always used to, but that I definitely welcome! 

Denim Jacket [old] - George at Asda
Black Maxi Dress - Boohoo Plus
Necklace [old] - Accessorize
Black bag [old] - New Look 
Blue flats - Primark  

A floor length, tight black dress with a side split up to the thigh isn't what a lot of people would think a size 16-18 girl would feel most confident in. It shows off every lump and bump, doesn't skim over problem areas and leaves nothing to the imagination, and I loved it.

I did wear some sucky-in underwear from New Look to smooth things out a little bit underneath this Boohoo dress. I debated wearing heels, but I thought it might be a bit too much with such a tight dress, and I also honestly hate wearing heels, so instead I just went for a pair of blue flats from Primark that worked ok. 

On top I decided to go for this very old (I'm talking 7 years) denim jacket, that I'm surprised still fits me, turning my outfit slightly more summery, along with sunnies and a pendant necklace.  

Luckily, I took a fellow blogger, and best friend, along with me to the races so spending a good chunk of our day taking outfit photos wasn't a problem! Sophie looked beautiful, so make sure to check out her races outfit over on her blog

Being dressed up and feeling confident surrounded by other beautiful dressed up men and women was really fun, a lot of people watching, admiring some amazing outfits, and some very expensive handbags. 

Although horse racing might not be for me, I definitely enjoyed the day, and I loved spending it with my best friend feeling beautiful and confident. 

You can find me in all of these places:

If you enjoyed this post you might like to check out A Day at the Races: Al Shaqab Lockinge Day // Embracing the Winter Sun // Maxi Dress Loving

A Day at the Races: Al Shaqab Lockinge Day

I've never been to the races, so when Newbury Racecourse in Berkshire invited me along to their Al Shaqab Lockinge Day I was thrilled! A new experience, a chance to get dressed up and be treated like a VIP in the hospitality suite, it sounded like a great day out. 

Being the most un-orgasnised person in the world, I almost forgot about the event until the day before, when I remembered what it was I was doing with my weekend. At this point I had no one to go with me and nothing to wear, which wasn't the best situation, but what is a best friend for if not to book a train a few hours before it leaves, pack up a suitcase and come stay with you for the weekend, right? Luckily Soph had no plans and could come and join me for a weekend in the posh part of the country.

Arriving at the race course we were directed to the Fred Winter Suite, which was a VIP suite with a balcony looking out on to the race course. They had drinks avaliable throughout the whole day, and they would fill up your glass as soon as it was empty. Food was brought around constantly throughout the day, and it was such amazing food, check out the mini cupcakes! 

Honestly, I felt slightly out of place, surrounded by some of the poshest accents I've ever heard, gucci bags, beautifully dressed women, and oddly enough, a group of 18 year olds who didn't look old enough to be drinking the amount of rose champagne they were! 

Eventually Soph and I settled in and felt a bit more like we belonged, and just enjoyed the experience. We also went for a wander, partly to explore, partly to people watch, and partly to find somewhere to take outfit photos. 

It was so lovely seeing so many dressed up men and women, and I felt beautiful myself. We probably enjoyed the people watching more than the actual races, in fact we didn't make any bets, mostly because we're not betting people, and because we didn't have a clue how to do it! 

The races themselves weren't my favourite part of the day, I don't particularly see the appeal, in fact I much preferred seeing the horse without a rider on their backs, and seeing a horse being rushed away in a 'horse ambulance' kind of put a dampener on the day. I wasn't sure how I felt about horse racing, I know people are strongly passionate on either side, but I don't have a strong enough view to make any case for or against. 

For me, the day was more about the experience, it was a lovely day out, apart from the drunken men shouting "take your clothes off" as we walked past them. I guess, unfortunately, a somewhat to be expected comment to be heard from a lot of very drunk men surrounded by very beautiful women. 

The rest of the day was wonderful though, the horses looked so beautiful, and there was such a fun atmosphere, everyone was merry and enjoying themselves. I'd definitely recommend a day at Newbury Racecourse if you're interested in horse racing, it was a lot of fun, and although it made me realise horse racing isn't for me, I know some people absolutely love it. I feel very lucky to have been invited along, and to have experienced something so different. 

You can find me in all of these places:

If you enjoyed this post you might like to check out #BloggerSleepover // What's In My Hand Luggage // My UK Travel Wish List
*Newbury Racecourse invited me along, with a plus one to spend the day at the races in the VIP suite. However all thoughts and opinions are my own.

Dating is...

I've been single for about 9 months now. Having my heart broken was hard, as it is on anyone I'm sure, but I'm doing ok. I've been dating, as you'll know from previous posts, and if you follow me on twitter where I post far too much about my life. 

In those 9 months i've liked someone, i've been hurt, i've been stood up, and invited on dates I've turned down. I've felt special and wanted, and I've felt used and rejected.

Dating is a minefield, it's a constant head fuck and its tough. It's not knowing what you want, and not knowing what they want. It's letting someone in, and it's crying over men who shouldn't mean anything to you. It's excitement and butterflies in your stomach. It's sending naughty selfies and feeling excited about getting to know someone new.

It's fuckboys who treat you like shit, it's nice boys who don't want to hurt you. It's feeling amazing one minute and terrible the next. It's drinks and chatting shit because you're nervous. It's checking your phone wondering why he doesn't message you any more. It's him telling you he thinks you're gorgeous and amazing, but it's also him telling you he doesn't want to see you any more. 

Dating is giving the different guys you're talking to code names so your friends don't get confused. It's sending screenshots to your best friend asking for advice on what to do. It's not knowing what to wear, and trying to impress. It's trying to play it cool and not succeeding. It's stalking their social media, and the feeling of dread when you see them with an ex or someone new. 

It's staying up late because you want to keep the conversation going. It's guys who just want sex. It's being asked 'how are you?' or 'any plans for the weekend?' more times than you care to answer. It's a conversation that flows, and then one comment that turns you off. It's attraction and anxiety. It's promises and plans. It's compromising. 

It's the first kiss, standing in a pub car park not wanting to say goodbye. It's holding hands for the first time, and "good morning beautiful" texts. It's sex, and fucking, and falling asleep in their arms. It's feeling confident because they make you feel good. It's smiling at your phone when you get a message from them. 

It's conversations that happen too soon. It's not feeling ready for anything more. It's an ex. It just doesn't feel right. It's not you, it's me. 

It's lying in bed wondering if you're just 'fuckable' not 'dateable'. It's deleting your dating apps and swearing off men. It's craving attention and re-downloading them. It's hoping for someone different, someone special, just someone. It's loneliness, it's Friday nights in, watching Netflix on your own. It's missing him. It's drunken texts you never should have sent. 

It's shit but it's wonderful. It makes you happy and it makes you cry. It's worth it, but it isn't. It's dating. 

You can find me in all of these places: