Healthy Living #11 I Should Love My Body

I'm too hard on myself, like most women and girls I'm sure. I constantly criticise and hate on my body, I should be better, slimmer, more beautiful. I have tree trunk thighs, bingo wings and a flabby tummy. I'm spotty and pale and my I hate my boobs.

When I look in the mirror I rarely notice the positives and only see negatively, I scrutinise and take note of all the things I don't like, yet I don't embrace the things I love, I don't see the good things about the bits I hate. I don't love my body. Deep down I know I am beautiful, everyone is, but It's hard to see past the things I think I need to change to become beautiful. 

I've decided it's time to embrace my body, and all its lumps and bumps and learn to love myself. Something that is not going to be easy. The struggle between loving myself but also wanting to better myself is what is keeping me in the constant battle of 'I am beautiful exactly as I am' and, 'I am beautiful but I would be more beautiful if I was slimmer'. 

I talk about wanting to loose weight a bit on this blog and this really is something I want to do, as Im technically over weight according to my BMI, but wanting to loose weight means wanting to change my body because Im not happy with it. I don't know what I want more, to love myself and not change, or to change and love myself more for changing.  Can you do both? Can you love your body exactly as it is, but still want to change it? 

I'd love to hear your opinions on this, as I know body confidence is something most people struggle with, or have struggled with. Personally my view on my body has improved a lot since I was a teenager, but Im still not totally happy or confident in the way I look. I guess it doesn't help that we are constantly bombarded with unrealistic images of women that we are supposed to aspire to look like, and we're reading articles about loosing weight or seeing celebrities being criticised for not looking a certain way. 

I don't know the answers or how to we're supposed to learn to love ourselves, I guess the most important thing is to be happy and remember you are beautiful, whether you feel like it or not. 

15 comments

  1. I agree with everything you said in this blog post xx
    http://thriftyvintagefashion.blogspot.co.uk/

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  2. I've really struggled with self confidence (I'm even doing a series about it - funnily enough on Thursday I'm putting up a piece about not really loving myself atm, it's been a hard time!)

    My answer for your question of if you can do both: In my experience, getting thinner doesn't exactly make you happy - I was still miserable after losing weight. However, I think you are able to love yourself AND change yourself. I say make the changes you want - but only when you love yourself, otherwise the changes won't make a difference. If you love yourself now, you'll love yourself whatever shape your body takes. If you don't love your body now, you'll only find more things to be upset about once you've changed one thing. Also, don't look at it in that you're on a diet to look better, see it as a healthy lifestyle choice - that means that you're changing because you love yourself and you want your body to be healthy, not thinner.

    When you look in the mirror don't allow yourself to say mean things. At first, try to say to your reflection that you are beautiful. Then, once you've gained more confidence with it, look in the mirror and list the things you do like about yourself. Hopefully it'll make you feel so much better :)

    Exercise wise, find something to train towards. For example, i'm training for the marathon. That means that now I exercise for a purpose other than losing weight. At the beginning of the year I just exercised to lose weight, and it made me miserable.

    Sorry for the long comment! I hope I've helped in some way. I'm always around for a chat about it if you need it. Obviously I'm not an expert, but it's nice to have support :) my email is hazeljaneblog@gmail.com xx

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    1. Thank you so much for this comment! Everything you said is so helpful.I think my problem is that sometimes I do love my body, but sometimes I don't. I think Im going to try and change and be slimmer, but not focus on it, I want to be healthier and hopefully a product of that will be losing weight. Im training for a 10k at the moment so thats helping me exercise regularly and It's nice not to be doing it for weight loss for once.

      I need to be nicer to myself when I look in the mirror as well, maybe I'll try telling myself nice things every day and see if it makes me think nicer things! :D I'll definitely be checking out your series. :D
      Emma x

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    2. I go from loving myself to hating myself regularly, so you're not alone! But now when I'm having a bad day I look in the mirror and say positive things, as it gives you a much better mind set!

      I think that's definitely the way to go - eat healthily and exercise and your body will soon change, but because you're not looking at it as a diet you'll see the changes much more positively! Good luck :) Also good luck with the 10k run! When is it? :)

      It's definitely good to be kind to yourself, you deserve to be happy because you're a beautiful person inside and out - I can tell!! x

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    3. It's definitely true that saying/thinking positive things makes you feel better. And although weight loss is still always in the back of my mind it's not as important as it used to be, I want to be healthy and have a good relationship with food and also be fit and exercise more. It's the 28th September! Im pretty nervous!

      Thank you so much, thats so nice of you to say :D And you too!
      Emma x

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  3. Great post and a really great comment. I agree with all of this but although I am trying to lose weight, it doesn't mean I don't love my body, I am just trying to treat it better by feeding it more nourishing foods and lightening the load.

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    1. Thank you :) I think thats the important thing, loving your body and wanting to treat it good by being healthy.
      Emma x

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  4. The way I see it, part of loving your body is treating it well. Most overweight people (with the exception of those with certain medical conditions) are overweight because they don't treat their body well and instead eat too much and exercise too little. I'm included in that list of people. So why not focus more on accepting and loving your body no matter what size big or small? After all your body changes everyday and will only continue to do so as you age.

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    1. Thats really true, loving your body means looking after it, but I also need to accept my body and not have unrealistic images of what I want it to look like. :)
      Emma x

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  5. I adore your blog and thank you for this post. I think to an extent, we will never fully feel happy about our physicality. The struggle to love ourselves is real. We can't achieve love for our bodies entirely and solely by changing it. Finding that love for every bump and curve and naturally keeping a good health is the answer. x

    Louise
    http://louiseplace.com

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    1. Wow thank you so much! :D The struggle is definitely real! Being healthy and accepting your body, even if you can't always love it is maybe the answer. Not that it makes it any easier to do.
      Emma x

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  6. Such true words sweetie. I think you can get the most beautiful and fantastically shaped woman in all the land and they'll hate aspects of themselves. I've lost so much weight but now worry about things like the fact my bum stays moving last when I jump, or that my teeth aren't white enough or I have too many moles. It's a scary world we live in and I can't believe we think so much about it. But you're gorgeous!

    If you want, take a read of this article I wrote recently for The Debrief on my experiences with weight loss :) http://www.thedebrief.co.uk/2014/08/things-you-only-know-if-you-ve-lost-five-stone


    Vicky xx
    Lots of Love, Me.

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    1. I think thats the thing every body is unhappy about something. I look at my friends and think I'd kill to have there bodies, yet they hate their thighs or stomach or hair etc. Its scary to think we may never be truly happy. My weight has been up and down for the past few years, and although Im not at a terrible point with my body Im not as happy as I was when I was at my heaviest but a point when I actually didn't care and I was just happy and enjoying my life.
      Reading your post (which is great by the way, and congratulations on amazing weight loss!) made me realise that weight loss won't make you happy, like you said you've lost all this weight and you still count calories and worry and think about your bum. I have a goal weight, but what if thats not enough, or I start hating things I can't change. ah I don't know. I just know that its hard. I know Im beautiful but I want to be better. I don't have answers on this one.
      Emma x

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  7. I think we can want to change our bodies BECAUSE we love it.

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