Let's Get Personal: Hurdles


Sometimes I feel like I put too much on myself. I write to do lists, and have plans, and expect so much of myself. I want to achieve and be the best I can possibly be and I can see my goals right in front of me just waiting for me to get there, but theres so many hurdles in between. 

Sometimes those hurdles are barley off the ground and can be jumped without a second thought, but sometimes the hurdles seem so high they’re impossible and there is no point even trying. Most of the time they’re somewhere in between, a height that just might be possible If I jump my highest, but I might also stumble and fall and feel stupid for trying. 

I’m emotional, lazy, a procrastinator, a planner and I’m also ambitious. Together these things make for a bit of a roller coaster ride. My ambitions lead to setting goals and planning how to reach them, but the lazy procrastinator in me tries as hard as it can to stop me getting close to these goals. Then I get emotional, I give up, what’s the point in trying Im never going to get there. I’m not going to write this essay, apply for that job, or go on a run. I’m going to eat cake, and watch telly. I was never good enough anyway. 

One moment Im ambitious and motivated and excited, then I trip up over a hurdle and it all comes crashing down and seems impossible. I stop trying, I sabotage myself and make reaching that goal harder by doing the opposite of what I need to.

I’m trying to improve, to anticipate the hurdles and better prepare for them. Im learning to cope better when I do stumble, to not be disheartened and pick myself up and carry on. I also need to understand that Im going to have bad days, and sad days and mad days. I’ll have days where everything becomes too much, or I feel lost or scared, but thats okay, It’s just one day and tomorrow will be better. 

I’m not sure where I was going with this post, but I just wanted to write and this is what came out. I want my blog to be real and honest, I want to be able to be open and talk about personal things, I want to start conversations and get advice, or give advice. Sometimes blogging can be another one of the goals that I never reach, hurdles keep getting in my way,  stopping me from getting where I want to be, but like I said Im trying to not let those hurdles get too big, and not to be discouraged when I do stumble. 

Does anyone else ever feel like this? How do you stay motivated when you stumble at a hurdle?  

14 comments

  1. Yes! I'm like this too. I'm excited for the end point but getting there can be so overwhelming and a bit daunting, I try to remind myself that if it was easy everyone else would do it and in times of dire desperation remind myself of that Miley Cyrus song The Climb. (I'm quite sure my 15 year old self would cry if I told her that.)

    It's hard to be inspired and enthusiastic everyday, reaching your goals is hard work and you need a break from time to time to stop yourself burning out.

    Rosie x | www.eatreadglam.com

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    1. haha The Climb really is a good song for getting motivation back! I think my issue if going from one extreme to another, highly motivated and enthusiastic, to no motivation or enthusiasm at all, makes completing things really difficult sometimes. It's definitely important to take breaks though I think, and also to not be annoyed that you're needing to take a break. It happens.
      Emma x

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  2. I have days like this. I listen to happy songs :-) and also try and make plans with friends as it can change your mood. Or a nice relaxing bath works for me to xx

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    1. Those are great ideas, just chilling out and relaxing and not thinking about the things that are stressful. :)
      Emma x

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  3. It can be so hard sometimes to stay motivated when you fell like you aren't getting anywhere but sometimes you have to appreciate the journey as well as the destination so I think that is worth bearing in mind when it comes to staying motivated:)

    thechinadolldiaries.blogspot.co.uk

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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    1. Thats very true, the journey is what changes you, and learning to overcome hurdles is important because they're always going to be there I guess.
      Emma xx

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  4. I feel like this a LOT. I recently graduated from my degree which I spent two years thinking was this huge, impossible goal. You just have to go for it, you don't get anywhere if you don't try :) and if you fall and look stupid, well we all look stupid sometimes!

    Charli | Charlotte Rose

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    1. My final year at uni is looking pretty scary right now, but like you said, just got to go for it! Im sure i'll look stupid lots, but I guess thats when you learn, and the next time you won't look as stupid. :)
      Emma x

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  5. I'm exactly the same as you! I'm very driven and ambitions, I focus on something and how I'm going to do it and obsess over it. Then I'm too lazy to actually finish what I want to accomplish! I need to get better at time scales I think, as I always try to fit too much in one day then get de-motivated when I don't accomplish what I want.

    Corinne x
    www.skinnedcartree.com

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    1. It makes doing things really hard, because you have so many dreams and things you want to achieve and then you give up and it never gets done and you feel terrible because you had such big ambitions. It sucks. Im terrible for trying to do too much in a day, Im a lover of lists, and write so many to do lists that I never complete and then Im de-motivated because I didn't do it. We're very similar haha.
      Emma x

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  6. I think these feelings are just a completely normal part of being a female young adult! We're too harsh on ourselves often and it puts a dampener on things when really we're doing okay. Hormones and this stage of our lives where a lot of us don't actually know where we want to be in a few years time play a bit role in this and I don't think it's anything to worry about! Chin up

    Hannah x
    ha-pea-days.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. I think thats true. I think as well as this age it's all about big life decisions and it feels like every choice you make is going to have an effect on the rest of your life, which can be really scary. Sometimes I think I need to realise that it won't make a difference, and everything happens for a reason.
      Emma x

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  7. I have the same split personality clash that you have. It's hard and mostly disappointing, but somehow we've got this far and that must mean something.
    This was a beautiful essay and I hope it lessened your burden even by the tiniest amount. I also hope it helped you figure things out a bit. :)
    Xx
    Aria
    ariasbeautyblog.blogspot.com

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    1. It's really difficult sometimes isn't it, but we're doing okay :) I do feel better having written this, hopefully I'll be able to cope better with things :)
      Emma x

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