Being healthy and exercising has never been something I was very good at. I've always been very up and down in both my weight and my 'healthy' lifestyle, sometimes I'd go weeks or even months of eating healthy and regularly exercising, but on the other side of things sometimes I'd crack and binge, eating my weight in chocolate! This could be a momentary binge or a week or month long downward spiral into both unhealthy eating and thinking. I didn't have a healthy outlook on life, I've never been very kind to myself and that's something that I'm hoping to change in 2015.
Since being diagnosed with Anxiety in October my health has entered that downward spiral. I eat terribly to make myself feel better, I do NO exercise and I've put on a lot of weight in a short space of time. The most concerning thing for me is that I'm mentally unhealthy, I've become meaner to myself and my anxiety has taken over my life. Starting a new year is always a great time to rethink and start trying something new, so for me it's time to become healthy and fit and get back to feeling like myself. I know this is going to be a long journey with lots of ups and downs but I'm ready to start taking some little baby steps to get myself going.
I briefly mentioned some of my Health & Fitness goals in my goals for 2015 post, but I wanted to elaborate on those and add in some more specific goals. I like goals as they give me something to work towards, but Im trying to keep them simple and not measurable by specific numbers or targets as this can sometimes be too pressurising and makes me more likely to give up.
Emma's 10 Goals for a Healthier 2015
1. Stop Dieting
It just doesn't work for me and I don't want to do it anymore. No more counting calories, or cutting out sugar or carbs. I don't like the restriction of dieting, having good foods and bad foods, I don't want to feel guilty or naughty for eating biscuits or chocolate or cake. I don't want to feel like a failure when I 'give in' to my cravings. I want to eat when I need to, and I want to have the freedom to choose to eat what I want, when I want. I'm hoping that changing my outlook on eating and food will help me become healthier in the long run. At the moment Im going to choose the chocolate and biscuits and ice cream because that's what I turn to for comfort, but if I'm no longer telling myself off or feeling guilty for eating these things eventually I'll stop binging on them and instead turn to healthier foods that I also love and enjoy. I'm done with dieting, I just want to eat.
2. Eat Healthier
I guess this links in with the previous goal, I want to eat healthier because I love healthy food and it makes me feel amazing. I'm not putting pressure on myself to suddenly change how I eat, this is a gradual one and it's going to happen one baby step at a time. Whether it's having an apple instead of biscuits, or it's eating half a big chocolate bar instead of the whole thing. Little tiny improvements are what I'm aiming for.
3. Try Smoothies
Yesterday I brought myself a blender! It's something I've wanted for ages so I decided to just go for it. I love fruit and vegetables so I wanted to start trying to make smoothies and I'm very excited about giving some recipes a go!
4. Start Running Again
Over the summer I started training for a 10k race that I eventually didn't end up doing. I went from not being able to run 1 minute to running for 30 minutes straight, I was so proud of myself and I felt amazing, I started to love running and seeing myself improve each week was such a great feeling. I'n determined to get back into running this year, I'm hoping to be able to run 10k, but at the moment the first step is just to get back into running.
5. Meditation or Yoga
Both of these have been known to help people who suffer from Anxiety so this is definitely something I want to give a go and hopefully incorporate into my daily routine. I think starting with mediation is the best way for me to go and once I've gotten into this try and give Yoga a go.
6. Track My Progress
I've been tracking my weight for as long as I can remember, I even have a note on my phone with every weigh In I've done for the past 2 and half years. It's time for a change though. I no longer want to track my weight loss, In fact I don't even want to weigh myself any more. I want to track my progress, whether that's in running or exercise, my mental health and how Im coping with anxiety, or even my feelings on a day to day basis. I want to be able to see my journey, the ups and downs but also the gradual improvements. It's all about baby steps in 2015 for me, but I want to be able to see these baby steps grow to giant leaps!
7. My Mental Health
Most of these goals will have benefits in helping me become more mentally healthy, but there are also more specific things I want to do to focus on my mental health and learning how to cope with anxiety. I'm not totally sure what steps Im going to take, I'm currently in counselling, i'm on medication and I've looked into cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and other self help methods. This is the most important goal for me and all the other goals are helping me towards become mentally healthier.
8. Get a Routine
I currently have no routine, I go to sleep when I want and wake up naturally, I do what I want when I want during the day and kind of go through each day as it comes. However I don't think this is the best way to get things done, I need a routine, that means going to bed and waking up at similar times every day, exercising regularly and organising a work schedule so I know what Im doing everyday. This is something I've tried so many times before and I've never been able to stick to it, so I think my starting point is going to be getting my sleep schedule sorted out.
9. Love Myself
I'm tired of being mean to myself, it's time to love myself. This is definitely going to take a lot of time but It's something that I need to do.
I'm really looking forward to having a happier and healthier year. I'd love to hear your health and fitness goals for 2015, whether thats loose weight, run a marathon or pamper yourself more. Don't forget to look after your mental health this year, it's just as important as your physical health!