Healthy Living #14 Let's Catch Up

Healthy Living Weight Loss Self Confidence

Back at the beginning of January along with my goals for 2015 I posted about my health and fitness goals for this year and as it's almost 3 months later I thought i'd do a little catch up. I haven't posted about healthy living very much this year, mostly because I haven't been living very healthily, however Im trying to get myself back into a better more healthy mindset so I figured If I blog about it I have to stick to it right?! 

Physically my health is probably the worst it's ever been, i'm currently at my highest ever weight which makes me really sad because in September i'd been at my lowest weight as an adult. However i've had a tough few months struggling with anxiety, low moods, self confidence issues and a seriously bad relationship with food, which has resulted in me putting on a lot of weight in a short space of time. Things are looking up though, since February time i've started to feel a lot better mentally, my anxiety isn't as bad and i'm coping with things a lot better, now i'm feeling a bit better in myself I think i'm in a good place to start working on myself physically. 

Eating & Weight loss 
One of my main goals for this year was to stop dieting, I focus on food way too much, and for the first 3 months of this year I just let myself eat what I wanted and tried to make good choices. This didn't really work for my weight though so I decided I needed to change my eating habits and be a bit stricter with myself. So to try and help me with eating less and hopefully loose some weight i've joined Weight Watchers online. On this plan every food is given a point value and I get a certain amount of points daily and weekly. This gives me freedom because I can eat whatever I want I just have to stick in my points. I'm still getting into this, and i've struggled sticking to it, Im an emotional eater so anytime something happens my immediate response is to turn to food!

I'm definitely eating healthier, but i'm nowhere near as healthy as I know I can be. I've been really enjoying making smoothies, which was another one of my goals. My main struggle is snacking, I just always go to sugary chocolatey options and I can't restrain myself and I just eat and eat. I'm trying to hold myself accountable for my eating and be stricter on myself, I like eating healthy foods, I just need to remember this. 

So far this year exercise has been non existent in my life, over the summer I'd really got into running so i'm determined to get back into it. Now the weather is better I can make it out more for runs, and I also want to do more home workouts, whether thats the 30 Day Shred which i've been doing on and off for 3 years but never got to the final level! Or Blogilaties which i've heard amazing things about. 

I also really need to try yoga I think this is something i'll really enjoy and it has so many benefits. Meditation is something else I wanted to try out this year and I don't know why I haven't given it a go yet, this is something I know will help me with my anxiety. 

Mental Health 
As I mentioned, my mental health has improved so much since last year, my anxiety levels are a lot lower and most days I don't feel anxious at all or I can talk myself out of my anxiety. I've got back on track with Uni, submitting work and keeping on track with my plans, I definitely still have bad days and i'm not ready to come off medication but i'm definitely coping better and I feel amazing because of it. 

However on the other hand my confidence about the way I look has dropped significantly, gaining a lot of weight quickly has been really difficult. My clothes don't fit, I get surprised when I see myself in the mirror, I don't feel sexy any more. I've always disliked the way I looked but now i'm so unconfident I don't feel comfortable going out, I feel like people are staring at me, even though I know they're not. I'm not loving myself and I know I should. I'm not being mean to myself anymore, i'm not calling myself names but instead I just feel sad and self conscious. 

I know I want to loose weight, I'm not comfortable at this size, I want to be back to the size I was before, and the only way to do that is to get my shit together! Hopefully joining Weight Watchers and getting back into exercise will help me loose weight, I just want to look like me again.

If you want to read back through any of my previous Healthy Living posts you can. You can also read about my weight loss story that I posted a year ago, to hear a bit more about my story. If you're struggling with self confidence or if you're on a healthy living journey I'd love to hear from you. It's so nice getting support from the blogging community.


  1. Anxiety and depression seem to go hand in hand with putting on weight. Sometimes the meds can make you put on weight and its almost impossible to lose! I suffer with anxiety and its taken me ages to lose weight but the slower it comes off the longer it stays off cliche but true. Your outlook on getting healthy is a very positive one so you can definitely do this - good luck xxx

  2. It's such a shame your confidence has dropped so much, it's horrible not feeling good about yourself! I think we all slip up on the eating healthily, I know some weeks I can eat really healthy and the next I'll go order takeaways three days of the week and eat the leftovers for the rest. Once I get a taste of something unhealthy I just want to write the day off and eat crap all day! I think it's just a case of making it a habit! As for the exercise, have you tried doing high intensity workouts? I've attempted the 30 day shred many times too and never completed it because tbh it's so repetitive! And you always need more rest time then it gives, and I find once you have one days rest you can't be bothered to go back to it. I use workouts from Fitness Blender, which are at home and there's loads that involve no equipment but they can really work you hard! I love high intensity interval training. It's hard as hell to do but is usually over in a flash. I'd definitely recommend giving it a go and I really hope you start to feel better about yourself soon! xxx

  3. One of my greatest challenges is getting over my all or nothing mentality. 10 years ago I exercised for 4+ hours a day, last year that number dropped down to zero. Yeah. While I know 4 hours was over doing it, I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that walking a little everyday is better than doing nothing. I wish you all the best in your endeavors. And you rock no matter what! :-)

    Beauty Isles | An Island Girl's Beauty and Lifestyle Blog

  4. You go girl!
    I do no exercise at the moment (excluding my 40-50 minute minimum walk to and from uni each day) so don't feel too bad! Once exams are over the exercise regime is starting up again. I feel like I need to start up yoga again too - I miss it!

    Rachael at

  5. Great, honest post about something we constantly think about, especially as young women.

    I wish you all the best on your healthy journey to a happier you :)



  6. I'm definitely trying to be on the healthy wavelength at the moment too. I did a sugar detox which worked out really well and now I'm trying to only eat sweet things one day a week. I hugely recommend 30 days of yoga with Adrienne if you are trying to get into yoga. It is so good and so good for the mental health too! x

    Jasmin Charlotte

  7. It's definitely worth giving the yoga a try, especially if you suffer with anxiety. I find it so relaxing to do, and you really do notice a result from something so simple. I'm trying to get into running currently, I've never been able to run but have always wanted to be able to so have just started training to get myself to my goal of 5k.

    Kristy |

  8. I have been signed off since January with anxiety - been getting CBT which I am finding pretty useful. However, I have gained weight too - I think in part to all the stress and medication - but just can't resist the sugary snacks either! I always get into so much conflict with myself about it all yet still do nothing productive about it haha!

    Lauren x

  9. It has been mentioned, but yeah if you're looking to try yoga, yogawithadrienne on youtube has a great 30 day 'challenge'. You don't have to do it in 30 days, but I think it's a good way to ease into doing it regularly!
    Sugary treats are my downfall! It's hard when you're not feeling comfortable in your own skin, and I know it can be difficult to get out of that mindset but I hope the weight watchers helps and you feel better about everything soon!

  10. It's actually really easy, especially if you use the app because you can easily find out the points value of any food. x

  11. That sounds great, I definitely need to up my exercise game, I want to find something I really enjoy. Blogilaties looks great. Thank you and good luck too :) x

  12. I'm dreading how slowly Im going to loose weight, it feels almost impossible and so disheartening but just got to keep going. I've got a healthy outlook but sometimes I slip up and start hating myself for eating badly, so I need to try and be nice to myself no matter what. xx

  13. I'm really gutted my confidence is so low, Im not used to being so self conscious about my weight. I'm the worst for eating unhealthy and then being like oh well I've ruined it now I'll start again on Monday, which is the worst thing! I haven't really tried any HIT workouts, but I totally agree that 30DS is too repetitive, I think doing it occasionally would be good, but I think Im going to try some youtube workouts. I'll have a look at Fitness Blender and HIT workouts. Thank you for the comment and support :) xxx

  14. I'm so all or nothing, it's either a healthy day or i'll go all out and eat so much food! I need to gradually increase my exercise so I don't get overwhelmed but it starts becoming a habit. And thank you so much for your support :D xx

  15. Thank you Rach :D Uni pressure does just make me want to eat all the time but trying to be good and find time for exercise as well! xx

  16. Glad you liked the post and thank you :) x

  17. I know the cutting out/down on sugar works well for me because I've done it before but it's so hard because I love sugary things! I've heard so much about Yoga with Adrienne so I definitely think I'll be giving that a go :) xx

  18. Everyone has recommended yoga so I'm going to give it a go. I was able to run 5k over summer but then stopped exercising and now can barely run for a minute! Good luck with running though! x

  19. I'm sorry you've been struggling with anxiety and with gaining weight. It really sucks doesn't it! I'm glad CBT is working for you though :D I've been hating myself for most of my life about my weight yet Im still overweight, it's a constant battle. xx

  20. I'm definitely going to be doing yoga with adrienne, everyone says its amazing. Sugar sucks, I wish I hated it! I'm really hoping I feel more confident soon, Im dreading summer at the moment! Thank you for your support :D xx

  21. I hope everything improves for you! Weight can have such a huge affect on confidence, but try not to let it get you down and try use it all as motivation instead! Easier said than done of course. HIIT are really worth it, I always struggled to shift any thing until I start doing them. Good luck! xxx

  22. Hi Emma,

    I know 100 % how you are feeling. The same thing happened to me two years ago. I gained A LOT of weight in just four months and my confidence has been lower than low ever since. I am still at the same weight despite eating way more healthy and generally doing more exercise. I know how frustrating it can be and if you ever want anyone to talk to I am right here for you x


  23. I'ev been struggling for a year with this actually and I'm hoping to get back on track this year too. First I was way too restrictive and I developed a bad relationship with food so I stopped counting calories and let go which has led to a big weight gain and an even more unhealthy relationship with food. I'm hoping to gain some self control and return back to my old weight this year, but I understand that it's frustrating. My body image is totally down the drain right now. xx

  24. I feel ya!
    After around 6 months of trying to 'diet', I gave up. Dieting just wasn't working so now I'm trying to teach myself to eat better rather than trying to starve the weight off!
    I right move to make in your journey to feeling better about yourself if you first move - deciding to do it. For me, this started around a month ago and I'm already feeling so much better for it!
    Fingers crossed we will be much more confident with our bodies come this summer!