Having your heart broken sucks. There is no two ways about that, but there is one sure way to make you feel a little bit less shit, some of the time at least. Getting back out there and into the dating scene once again is both terrifying and liberating. It's by no means the perfect way to get over an ex partner, but it's a step in the right direction for a lot of people.
As a twenty something I have no idea how to do 'traditional dating', I mean how does that even work, where do you meet people without the internet?! Tinder was my dating app of choice, of course. It's the most populated, it's easy to use, and you can skip through multiple men in just minutes narrowing down the 'hot damns' from the 'no thanks'.
In the 6 months I've been single I've deleted and re-downloaded Tinder more times than is healthy. I've been stood up, catfished, insulted, complimented and had some pretty awkward conversations. After a few months of going a bit dating crazy, which is almost compulsory following a breakup, I've decided to pull back on dating, and Tinder has become more something I do when I'm bored than to actually look for dates.
Despite taking a bit of a break from the dating world, I've definitely learnt some things over my past 6 months of tinder'ing.
So here are 8 Things Tinder Has Taught Me:
1. People aren't always who they say they are.
For me this one is literal, people really aren't always who they say they are. I was catfished by someone pretending to be a drummer of a band I'd never heard of, and I only found out when a friend recognised the band photo and I was able to find the real drummer's twitter and message him. An interesting conversation, but it showed me the importance of confirming someone's identity before you meet them. Snapchat is the perfect tool for this!
2. It's not all about looks.
The whole point of Tinder is that its based on looks and immediate attraction. Most people swipe based on the first photo, without even checking out their other photos or bio, if they even have one. Looks aren't everything though, some of the best conversations I've had were with guys I didn't immediately swipe right, and instead checked out their bio and maybe gave them a chance based on that. Also, some of the hottest guys I swiped were poor conversationalist, or just straight up twats.
3. Attraction does matter.
Although it's not all about looks, attraction does matter. Tinder has shown me the importance of being physically attracted to someone, and has shown me that everyone has different taste of what they're attracted to, and you can't blame someone for that. I'm not going to be everyone's cup of tea, and that's ok, because someone out there will think I'm the best thing they've ever seen.
4. People want sex.
It's true, people use Tinder for sex. To be honest there is nothing wrong with that, you've just got to be upfront with what you want. Whether it's an immediate, 'I'm just looking for fun' or something a bit more explicit. It's never going to be to everyone's taste, but better someone is up front than finding out a few weeks down the line, once they've got what they want and never speak to you again!
5. Don't trust too quickly.
It's far too easy to lie on the internet, so keep your guard up. Whether it's someone pretending to be someone they're not, lying about their intentions, or being a cheating asshole. I've learnt not to put my trust in someone too quickly because they've not earned it yet.
6. It's ok to enjoy the attention.
Tinder is the perfect place for when you just want a bit of a confidence boost. Who doesn't love to see a match pop up on their phone, or have someone tell you they think you're gorgeous. It's nice, and there is nothing wrong with enjoying that attention.
7. People can be mean.
Although people can be nice and compliment you all day long, it's not the only type of attention you're likely to get on Tinder. Whether it's someone's 'friend' telling you your eyebrows are crap, or some misogynistic douchebag who get's upset when you tell him you're not interested, and calls you fat and ugly. People can be mean, so you've got to have a thick skin to keep your confidence intact.
8. There are plenty more fish in the sea.
For every rejection that made you want to crawl into bed and cry that no one would ever love you, theres someone messaging you telling you they think you're amazing. The beauty of Tinder, internet dating, or life in general, is there is always more people out there, and within a few swipes you will have forgotten that asshole, and moved onto someone new, and the whole thing starts again!
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